Tuesday, April 19, 2011

I need to focus on others instead of myself.

Blah...Don't feel obligated to read this.

I like Utah, I really do it is very beautiful, full of new adventures, and my husband and baby are here with me.
I miss Az like REALLY bad. I miss walking outside in sandals & shorts. Playing at the park and having all day pool days with BBQ's. I miss my family. my friends. and knowing where the heck I am driving to. 
Even though I talk to my parents and text my friends from time to time I still feel lonely. I just want to sit inside (because to me its freezing outside) and watch tv & sleep all day. I feel pathetic. and kinda alone.
Its hard enough when lots your friends don't have kids so you don't get to see them much so you adapt & make new mommy friends but its another thing to move out of state where you don't know anyone, don't have family to turn to & try to make new friends. Trust me I suck at making friends. I am just an odd person. I have had the same friends for a while now and I have trouble keeping new friends I like routine. 

Jacob, Xelly & I have had some super fun times and we have got to be more of a "family" for the past 2 weeks. Re-learning things about us and making new memories. If I say I have loved every moment of it that would be an understatement. I have loved all of our together time and look forward to the weekend like crazy because I know it gets to be just the 3 of us doing super fun new things.

I guess I am just in a funk right now. I feel like I need to shop everyday. not just clothing but groceries, plants, home decor. I don't but I just have that urge. I am not a person that normally likes to shop. If I do end up shopping its for Xelly or Jacob unless its shoes (drool). 

Sorry for being a Debbie downer. The people I have met here in my neighborhood are awesome and seem so fun I just need to get out of my skin and make an effort now assume that no one wants to be my friend. I also need to stop thinking about myself then I will start to feel better and enjoy life more. 

Here is to me taking a shot at a different outlook on our new life.

I did her hair in curls

play in the dishwasher- so cool!

she does all the hard work.
she loves to push all carts by herself.

I love him!

He is my best friend.

That was my vent. I hate to vent.
positive happy posts from now on.

Love, Joni

12 comments:

Ricky said...

Hay little one of mine, it will get warm and you will be outside in the sun shine, people stay inside when its cold, soon you can get a garden started and life will be Grand, well maybe not Grand. Just remember you can call anytime. Your Loving Dad.
xoxoxoxoxo

Preston and Alex said...

seriously know how you feel. I felt the same way when I moved from Utah to AZ. I moved here in the middle of July...I thought I had moved to HELL. I cried everyday and ate popsicles and just stayed inside. Plus Preston was working like 75 hrs+ a week. Now looking back I wouldn't change it for a thing. It took like a year to feel that way but I loved making my own "home" away from family, friends, and my comfort zone in Utah. Preston and I had to lean on eachother, and has brought us together in a way I don't think we would have living in Salt Lake.
Sorry this is so long, just my thoughts and my story haha

Keep your head up Girl! You will find friends for sure, your darling. Our friends in AZ have become our "family":) Give me a call or text if you want if you have any questions about Utah things to go and do, or if you get lost.....that may have been creepy, im awkward ha ha (480-455-2553)

Skye said...

I can understand how you feel - its hard to be away from everything you know. We are hoping to relocate soon (by choice) and I think about all those things - missing family & friends... being in a new place & environment ... etc...
You will adjust... and you WILL make friends. Try to get out of the house even though you may not want to - that will help you to get out of that mind-set - even if you just go to the mall and walk aroud or an indoor play area for Xelly :)

Elena (Running in Heels After Child) said...

I moved while I was pregnant. I went from living in this hip neighborhood, working full time and finishing my masters to being a stay at home mom, in the suburbs, in a city that I knew no one but my husband and was is gone for work all the time.

I was sad, it was hard, I missed everything about my life. But making new friend when you have kids is easy.

Here is what worked for me. Find a parents group- keep looking until you find one that fits you. Go to the park, the gym, story time, music class...anywhere there are people with kids.

In no time you will have a circle of friends for your and your family. I love where I am now, I worked really hard to build a life but now I love it.

best,

elena

Brandis said...

Don't feel bad for venting. You're not the only one that's felt that way. Heck, I feel that way right now and I only moved 5 miles!

Mars said...

My 2 BFFS live in Provo. You should hang out with them. They are fun and cute and have babies! Well..one has an almost 1 year old and the other is due in a few months. I'm sure you'll meet so many people soon and who wouldn't want to be your friend!! PS you should go to Tai Pan for home decor. Super cute and decent prices. Love that place!! Or head over to Roberts Arts & Crafts and find a project to work on :) I don't know if UT has Hobby Lobby yet. Stay warm!

Ross said...

Hey everyone is allowed to vent every once and a while and besides I'm sure we've done it a few times. It will take a bit to meet some new friends and it's great that people in the neighbourhood are nice. I moved from Vancouver, Canada where I was born and raised to a small city. Now I have more friends then ever. Hang in there!

Connie said...

Oh yes... it's hard to try to fit into a new place! I'm there with ya! I miss AZ too- the warmth mostly. (my feet and hands are constantly cold now- haha) It'll get easier!

Thanks for saying hello on my blog!

Jenny said...

I totally know how you feel. I've been moving from place to place all my life and it sucks to be in a new place (for me it was almost a new place every year).

Hope things get better for you!!

Vivian said...

Found your blog through the FTLOB website. Your daughter and her curls..so cute! I don't get what it is that attracts babies that age to the dishwasher? So is mine and let's don't even talk about the toilet paper...
Following now :)

Crystal said...

Hey I'm new hear..but feel free to vent. I've done some of that lately...and it just seems cathartic. No one ever said that life was full of gum drops and rainbows (but that would be awesome!!) I found you via FTLOB. BTW- super sweet family and great pictures!!

Rod and Lynda said...

Thanks for sharing your feelings. Many can relate to your situation. You've got the right idea about thinking of others and being interested in their lives. Take some of Jacob's friendly & talkative personality and you will have lots of friends in no time.
Another huge blessing that you have is being in a ward family at church!
Love You!